New Book Offers a Solution For Donald Trump: Dog Train Him
Boca Raton, FL – Twenty-five years of marriage and the experiences of working with dog trainers provided the inspiration for L.A. Knight’s laugh-out-loud new novel, Dog Training the American Male, the story of a relationship counselor who can’t seem to make her own relationships work… until she discovers that the techniques used to train her boyfriend’s dog can also be used to train her boyfriend.
At the heart of the comedy are the challenges of men and women to communicate. We may speak the same language but our brains are wired completely different. Conversely, men and dogs are simple creatures who share many similar traits – ergo, men can be trained. But before you think Knight is selling out his gender, hear him out.
“The key to domesticating a dumb animal is to reward the desired behavior. For a man, this comes down to food, ***, and lying around on the couch watching TV. Give us what we want and we’re happy.”
Which brings us to Donald Trump. Having watched the last Presidential Debate and the Republican candidate’s bizarre behavior, Knight – a Bernie Sanders supporter (the guy was a lovable mutt…and mutts are forbidden to win Best In Show) had this to offer:
“Although he snorts like a Bull Dog, I see Trump as more of a Chow Chow… the wild orange hair, the nasty disposition. The problem is that he’s been the Alpha Dog all his life, which is why he listens to no one. As a billionaire, he’s lived in a spoiled, isolated existence where he hasn’t worn a leash for fifty years; as a result he now lacks all social restraints. Enter his domain and it’s no holds barred. He’s liable to bark, growl, wag his tail, shove his nose in your groin or hump your leg. Look at him during the second debate… he was all over the stage, snorting and sniffing like he was looking for a place to pee when he should have been placed in a sit and stay position.
“Instead of surrounding himself with YES MEN, Trump needs to appoint trainers who are not afraid to set him straight. Since that’s most likely not going to happen before the last debate, I’d skip leash training and go straight to the electric shock collar. If he strays past his chair… ZAP him.”
And can dog training techniques work on women…say, Hillary Clinton?
“Not at all, ”Knight says. “While dogs have a pack mentality, women are more like cats. Ever try to herd cats… it’s chaos. However, if Hillary does win the White House, I have one suggestion – have Bill neutered. If she had done that sixteen years ago, Gore would have been president, we would have never invaded Iraq, and ISIS wouldn’t exist.”
Available in bookstores and all online outlets
Dog Training the American Male
Author Q&As available on request.
Laysha Duran, Manhattan with a Twist: “Laugh out loud funny!” Dog Training the American Male: A Novel, by L.A. Knight will have you in stitches … L.A. Knight’s debut novel and it’s a great one at that. Both sexes will enjoy reading this quirky take on how to housebreak the male species…”
Ryan Jordan, Reader’s Favorite: “The story starts off with a bang and is raunchy and hilarious throughout. The humor is reminiscent of a pre-political correctness culture where nothing was sacred and comedians could say anything they pleased. The dialogue is witty and quick with a lot of really snappy moments that deserve to be read aloud (maybe an audiobook in the future) or told on a stage.”
CeliaSue Hecht, Writer/Editor , Have Dog Blog Will Travel: “This is definitely NOT your usual romantic comedy romp between the sheets and the relationship. It started kinda slow to me… but it is a very funny premise about a man and woman and a dog. The woman is a radio talk show host and a psychologist … Nancy has issues with men, to say the least. She moves in with her boyfriend, Jacob, he gets a dog and the dog is out of control so she hires a dog trainer… Nancy hires two dog trainers to help with the German Shepherd pound puppy five years old and not fixed. Then she decides to use the training tools she is learning on the dog with the man … what ensues is kinda kooky, crazy and just plain funny.”
Tom Mayer, Mountain Times Publications: “Teaching your old dog new tricks simply requires the right treat — so goes the story of Dog Training the American Male, a riotous romp through relationships of the young, the old and the restless … Comedic newcomer L.A. Knight offers a fresh farce replete with a cast of well-drawn characters, fast-paced wit and merging cinematic story lines that triumph as a novel, but would feel equally right on a London stage, as a Netflix original or in a theater near you.”
Arielle Sidrane, Spa Week Daily: “At first I thought it was a self-help book, but I quickly learned otherwise. It’s actually a hilarious, tongue-in-cheek novel that will have you in stitches from start to finish. Each character has the same smart, witty banter that you can actually hear going back and forth in your head. Although it’s a bit over-the-top, (I could have done without the sexcapades in retirement homes), I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed reading this. And lucky for my boyfriend, I’m no closer to “training him.”
Ascot Media Group
Address: Post Office Box 2394, Friendswood, TX 77549
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